Category Archives: Life and shit

Headed to Tahoe Soon

Posted by kellydunleavy in I would like to register a complaint, Life and shit, Race Reports

We were watching old episodes of Glee yesterday and the incredibly annoying, patronizing episode went on and on about loving yourself and one girl – who supposedly was not hot – v. another girl – who was supposedly hot. Except like it’s TV, so everyone is relatively hot.

It’s really annoying when we all pretend one person in TV or a movie is super hot and one isn’t, but really you’re never going to look like either of them.

The episode was also super annoying because in order to love yourself evidently you have to acknowledge something about yourself that you hate. Don’t hate yourself? You’re obviously lying, you not-hot wierdo.

Raced the Tiburon Triathlon this morning: super short, super fast.

I swam hard, hard and tried to stay with the front guys. But, since I’m not that fast, I never bothered to find out what the course was. I’ll just follow everyone in front of me. No problem, except the really fast guys dropped us hard and then it was me and two other guys leading everyone else. We swam into a bunch of boats and all started looking around, no buoys, no nothing, no idea. “Where did you lead us?” I said the to guy and he was like “I dunno.”

Obviously, we made it out.

Biked hard — thought it was definitely faster and harder than the other time I did this race, but it wasn’t.

Tried to run hard, wanted to run 6:00 miles and I was close but then I started to throw up. Not just a little either, which I can deal with, but like full on about to double over and just start hurling everywhere. So, I slowed down and this 14-year-old went past me. And I ran like 6:07 miles instead.

Slower than before, but ok. Hard. And nine guys beat me.

Ready for Vineman?

Posted by kellydunleavy in Guest Post, Life and shit

I actually had fun at a pro meeting today.

This is shocking. I hate pro meetings — always feel awkward, out of place, etc, etc. But, Kristin showed up and we hung out and it was good times.

Maybe tomorrow’s race will be fun too? (WHAT?!)

Last night, Steve and I went to see the last Harry Potter. He’s never seen one of the movies. He’s never read one of the books. He was pretty sure it’s a combination of Narnia, Lord of the Rings, and those Twilight movies.

His verdict is: it was boring.

I knew shit was going down, but didn’t care about the people being killed. A lot of it was just to sell videogames. And then there were some Braveheart wannabe scene.

Also, the guy without the nose had it in for Potter — I figure it’s because Potter’s responsible for him not having a nose.

The movie started with them going to a B&B and rounding up a hobbit, who took them to a hobbit bank, which wasn’t really believable as a bank.

[Kelly's note -- sure, close enough...]

The wise mole people were symbolic. The whole movie was heavy on the symbolism.

Eventually, they met up with the wizard from Lord of the Rings.

[Kelly's note -- Dumbledore.]

The best scene was in the supply closet.

[Kelly's note -- the supply closet?]

Yeah, where they got the brooms and flew out.

[Kelly's note -- you mean, the Room of Requirement with the crazy fire?]

Where they kept all the school supplies, so Susan Sarandon could teach them how to use it.

[Kelly's note -- Susan Sarandon?]

Whatever, the British actress who’s always typecast.

[Kelly's note -- Susan Sarandon's not even British.]

Fortunately, the girl sitting next to me alerted me to when a popular character was entering the scene by giggling or cheering. She was oddly shocked when some guy in a sweater survived — I’m no reader, but if you’re that invested, wouldn’t you pick up a book to find out how it ends? This was after fighting with her mom on her cell phone about how many cell phone minutes she had left.

So.

Posted by kellydunleavy in Life and shit

So, I raced and I raced and then I got sick and then I stayed sick and then it turned into a sinus infection and then Maggie (my sister) visited and — shocking — I didn’t get better while she was visiting and then I fucked myself up hard in our heat wave and spent five days lying on the floor moaning.

So, those are all my excuses already set for Vineman next weekend.

Just fyi.

I’m actually not totally stressed — mildly stressed but not totally. If anyone knows if I should worry about wetsuit-legalness, let me know. That would eliminate one concern.

Other than that, I’ve just been tired. Tired. [FYI -- that is not a statement of depression, nor is it an invitation to ask me what is wrong. It is just a fact from training.] But, that’s not very interesting.

That tiredness totally culminated over the long weekend. I fell apart on a long, hot run — the kind where you’re lucky when you slipped you didn’t slip down the side of the mountain. Usually, when that kind of heat-induced shuffling happens it’s at the end of a hard weekend, but this time it was at the start. That made for an even longer weekend.

I got on my bike the next day and immediately had to reroute my ride past Baskin Robbins. Just make it to Baskin Robbin and then you can take a break:

And then I swam, and ran, and biked more, and sweated and sweated and sweated.

Oh, and there was some other shit, and I almost started crying in our complex pool, and then I peed on myself on accident in the dark after watching fireworks July 4.

Today, it is 69 degrees in our condo. This is amazing. Things are looking up.

A Wedding Post

Posted by kellydunleavy in Life and shit

I once swore I could put on a wedding with three weeks and $1,000. And I could. Ceremony in the park. $175 to rent the clubhouse, hundred dollars worth of decorations (I wasn’t on the Homecoming Committee for three years for nothing; I can make a big room look like an enchanted evening with nothing but stuff from Party City), a margarita fountain — they’re surprisingly affordable, potluck and desserts. BAM. Done.

SO, I could. But I don’t want to.

What I want to do is punch the next person in the head who says we should save money by making our own namecards. Because if you think there will be namecards or that they will be of a variety that costs money at any wedding I’m involved in, then we’ve obviously never met. So, why are you giving a stranger advice?

What we want to do is have an awesome party.

Why would we have namecards? I know everyone and they can introduce themselves to each other — it’ll give them something to talk about. Fancy table seatings are weird. Ditto for seating charts. Why would we rehearse something that will be shorter than 15 minutes. Or have a dinner at that rehearsal that will never happen. We’ve managed to kill every plant that has ever been given to us through apathy, including a cactus, so why would I start caring about flower arrangements now? Catering? Do they cater burritos? No. I am a dessert aficionado and wedding cake is pretty and awful — pretty awful. Three words: brownie sundae bar. Three other, unrelated words: margarita fountain, and: pinanta. Steve firmly believes he is better than every DJ in existence and has already made a mix. And a beer selection list. So.

No, we will not go to a church for the first time ever that day. No, it will not involve bikes (tacky). No, I do not want to look like a fairytale princess. I just want to look really hot. I can’t remember what other things won’t be included, but if you read it in a fucking wedding magazine, then chances are it won’t be included.

Oh yeah, and no, it won’t cost a lot of money.

(You want to be depressed, google ‘budget wedding ideas.’ It’s a messed up industry that has convinced people $10,000 is a budget party. I have put on events – big events – and I know how to run through a to-do list, and I could put on an awesome party – that had nothing to do with budgeting – for $10,000.)

Now, if only everyone else would get onboard. And rent us somewhere to fit all these people for this awesome party for no money.

In all these wedding magazines and wedding websites and wedding blogs, everyone goes on and on about how their wedding is a special, totally unique reflection of them and they just wanted it to reflect them. Right, because you all just happen to be attractive, color-coordinated hipsters with matching themes.

Well, if there was a way this was going to turn out that reflected Steve and I it would pretty much be the way it has:

- He made a mix on his computer and a beer selection list.

- I made an excel spreadsheet of possible locations and emailed them. (I hate calling people.) Many of them emailed back and did not work out, some did not even email back.

- I gave Steve numbers to call and questions to ask. Most of those didn’t work out either.

- Then, I got frustrated and went back to watching TV and doing work. Steve continues to throw out ideas for his mix tape and what types of shuttles/mini-van the college kids are going to drive.

- I told him we needed a deadline and if he wasn’t going to take the initiative finding somewhere, then fine, I guess it just wasn’t going to happen.

- He said he would make calls if I told him where to call, and fine, I guess it just isn’t going to happen.

- Fine.

- Fine.

And, now we are at an impasse. And that is a beautiful, unique reflection of our wonderful life together. All we need is vintage-y looking pictures of us on our laptops in the living room and we can call them engagement photos.

Life: A Race Report

Posted by kellydunleavy in Life and shit, Race Reports

So.

I raced Napa Valley sprint and won. And Morgan Hill and it hailed. And then Alcatraz this past weekend.

This picture kind of sums up that race:

I actually dove off the boat. Yay me! And then I was swimming, swimming as hard as I could to stay with who I thought was Charisa, but she just slid away from me. Fuck. I think I said a bunch of other swear words in my head. My arms were killing me and I couldn’t figure out why I was swimming so shit. My whole race was already over. I suck, I suck, I suck. Oh, look, there’s another pro girl! Maybe I don’t suck!

The other girl started heading too wide and the current was so strong I didn’t want to get swept past the beach. So, I watched her go and swam straight. I was pretty proud of myself for actually making a decision instead of just following the pro girls around like a scared lemming. She swam way to the right and came back and we got out of the water around the same time. AND, we did it under 30 minutes! Not too bad for me.

I did some ‘shit where is my bag,’ ‘shit I can’t get my wetsuit off,’ hopping around and then ran what felt like the longest transition run ever.

When Charisa caught me not even two miles into the bike, I was determined to stay with her. Determined. It worked. For like 100 feet. She did end up having an amazing race, so I guess that just wasn’t happening.

I kept pushing the bike and I knew I was having a good race, because I made it all the way to the Cliff House before seeing the first guy headed back. And I got all the way to Golden Gate Park and never saw any of the women on the way back. I’ve never been able to do that before!

There was some stupid stuff — braking on turns when I didn’t need to, not drinking enough, dicking around too long trying to open a pack of chews — but it was a pretty good ride.

I headed out on the run just 3-4 minutes out of the group of girls that were 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th. But, I got into my head then. There’s no way I’m going to run the same speed as them, much less 3-4 minutes faster. I just need to have a nice solid run. Just don’t blow up. And that was ok for a little while. But, obviously, you have that kind of attitude and you don’t last real long.

This was when I looked good:

I made it almost to the top of the stairs before seeing Andy Potts (or really hearing him) headed back. I pushed the downhill hard. And then we got to the sand. I came to almost a stop. They wouldn’t let us run down to the water’s edge; we had to run in the deep sand. It turns out my running form is not conducive to running in deep sand — and by that I mean because my run form sucks. I drag my feet a ton, I don’t pick them up, I don’t take big enough strides, my ankles and knees collapse in. It got ugly. Every time I looked up the turnaround wasn’t any closer.

At the top of the sand ladder, a girl passed me. I hung with her. I passed her back on the downhill and tried to make it stick. We hit the single track trail, though, and it was a solid line of people. That picture above — imagine it just filled with people running up. I was running behind two guys, there was no where to go, no way to go any faster, and it was fast enough. On the stairs down, the girl passed me back; she did some crazy weaving, jumped in front of someone, down a bunch of steps, in between people and was gone.

For 10 seconds when we hit the bottom, I tried to catch back up, then I just wanted to lay down and go to sleep. My arms hurt so much, they just hung there. I realized I was NOT running fast – not sure when that happened. Why wasn’t I done yet? I suck.

Another girl passed me with half a mile to go. I watched her go. I don’t care much when amateurs pass me in a race. Probably a bad attitude, but I figure they started behind me, so even if I pass them back, they still win. Either they’re really good or I’m really sucking, so nothing to do about it now. (My attitude needs work.)

With 400 meters to go, another girl passed me. I even swore out loud. I thought I might cry. I had nothing. How did the race fall apart in the last mile?

Then, I realized she was a pro. I wasn’t in last. I didn’t suck. I couldn’t let this go by. I couldn’t. I had to fight for it.

I started sprinting. She started sprinting. It looked like this:

Then, like this:

I ended up 12th pro. I was 12th last year too — but this year’s 12th was a lot better race actually. It was a big improvement over last year and the year before that. But, not as big an improvement as it should be.

And, then it was my birthday.

Oh, and Steve and I got engaged.

Busy life.

Sand-bagger

Posted by kellydunleavy in Life and shit, Triathlon

OK, so I’m not naming names, but I wanted to do a local sprint triathlon. Totally small deal, very-much for beginners, but I just want to get my legs under me, it’s close, it’d be fun.

I have no interest in sand-bagging and I don’t want to go beat on beginners or discourage anyone or take their awards from them. So, I emailed the race and asked if (as a pro) I could just compete and not be in the results or be pulled from the results. Which, I’m pretty sure, is totally common. I know as a beginner, I did some small races and local pros would do them and then wouldn’t be in the results. They just sort of showed up, worked something out with the race directors, and then weren’t in the results.

This race said no.

Now, of course, I totally won’t win, because you never know who’s going to show up, especially around here. (I did a totally random, local 10K once that had two Olympians. Awesome.) But, still. WTF.

–

Yesterday, I went to Borders, since it’s closing there were bound to be great deals! There were ok deals, but there were more people there than actually read books. There was probably a reason the stationary section was cleaned out, but the bookshelves were still relatively full.

I totally contributed by buying two magazines and an e-reader. Because it was 50% off! And came with 100 books! And now I can read and look important!

Hack. Hack

Posted by kellydunleavy in Life and shit, Triathlon

I’ve been sick all week. I also rode more than I’ve ever ridden in one week. Obviously, when those two things coincide it’s pretty ugly — literally, not figuratively.

Tuesday, I was really sick (bad cold) and didn’t work (as much as one can when one works from home) and laid on the couch all day. Then, life went on. But, it seems after a couple days all the congestion settled in my chest.

So, today, I woke up, hacked up a bunch of stuff, loaded up on cold medicine, and headed out for my second four-hour ride of the weekend.

I made it 3:40. And we’re calling that success.

 

A new leaf?

Posted by kellydunleavy in Life and shit, Triathlon

I thought a lot about my race. I know there’s the whole 24-hour, then move on rule, but please, I don’t follow rules.

I realized a few things: I don’t train enough being the key one. I can pretty much guarantee that no one who went faster than me at Oceanside trains less than I do. (Steve says that means I get good bang for my buck. But, I’m pretty sure it means I have a fixable weakness that needs to be addressed.)

I also realized I’m a neurotic mess. It reminds me of the year in junior high when I made the select regional soccer team and was so paralyzed by fear that I would screw up that I just prayed no one would give me the ball.

Then, I read this guy’s blog, who was having some similar thoughts.

I used to know that if I was near anyone with 800m to go in a race, I could beat them. The competition got faster, so that’s no longer true. I also lost my speed. But, mostly, I lost my confidence.

So, I think I’m ready to turn over a new leaf. Maybe. I mean you never know until you actually do. But, I only had one dessert after the race and haven’t drowned my sorrows in brownies. So, that’s a start.

You’re So Vain

Posted by kellydunleavy in Life and shit

When we bought our condo, the bathroom had recently been renovated. There was a new tub, toilet, sink, etc, and I guess the guy hadn’t gotten around to installing a mirror in the renovation. After we moved in, we spent a decent amount of time at Home Depot and we looked at bathroom mirrors, but the ones with the cabinets in them were kind of expensive and there was a lot of stuff to fix and do, so we never got around to it.

So, there is still no bathroom mirror above our sink.

This really bothers everyone who comes over. Like a lot.

They seem to see it as some kind of example of how we don’t have it together. But, first off, I mean there’s a lot of better examples of how we don’t have it together. And, secondly, unless you’re trying shave in the mirror — which I’m pretty sure none of our guests have tried to do — why do you care?

Not looking at myself every time I need to use the sink hasn’t been a big problem in my life. I know what I look like. It’s not a secret. We still have a full-length mirror in the bedroom if I need to use it. I’m not adverse to getting a mirror eventually, but I’m not totally sure why everyone needs one.

This is not a videoblog

Posted by kellydunleavy in I would like to register a complaint, Life and shit

Steve wanted to videoblog my rambling rant with hand gestures earlier, but I broke our video camera like 6 months ago and the one I have for work is, eh, shit and anyway I’m really good talking on camera unless Steve is there, because then I just think he’s being all judgemental.

So, instead bullet points.

  • YOU in no way contributed to the revolution in Egypt. Or Tunisia. Or anywhere. You have nothing to do with this. You are not a part of history. History is not unfolding in front of your eyes. In fact, you’re not even watching history. Or, rather you are, but only (not to totally parody the History Channel’s motto but) because history happens every day. All YOU are doing is watching people gather in a square on your TV far away.
  • And your comments on facebook and twitter and whatever do nothing to add to the event, you are merely attempting to insert yourself in someone else’s moment. It’s like rubbernecking on the highway.
  • In some ways the comments are exceptionally patronizing too: ohhhhh, goooood for the Egyptian people, they got themselves democracy. Aww. Let’s hope they do something gooood with it. Don’t you go spending all that in one place now.
  • Because, let’s not kid ourselves, if it had taken longer than 18 days, we’d have stopped caring. We’d be out of this news cycle.
  • You know what else happened? Southern Sudan became a new country. By actual vote. You know what else didn’t happen? Iran’s revolution last year, which was way more brutal and way more deserved. But, there weren’t so many TV cameras there. So, evidently, we only care about some of the people in that region.
  • Because, again, if we’re not just trying to revel in our political right or wrongness in public forums so we can make condescending statements about events we have nothing to do with, we would acknowledge the role the military has played in this overthrowing of power. There is a reason he didn’t step down and then he did and it’s not because the protestors chanted louder. The military saw a power vacuum into which it has stepped. And maybe they’re simply positioning themselves to be the forerunners in any elections that occur, maybe not, but don’t kid yourself that 18 days of (relative) non-violence ended a 30-year regime.

I wish I had said this, but I didn’t: “Anyone else thinking it’s inevitable that the Egyptian flag headband is coming to a hipster near you?”