What Kind of Police Are You?

The other day I was talking to a guy who owns one of those fake policing companies — ok, private security — and apparently they actually have the authority to do stuff.

Their authority to detain people, etc, rests on the same code that allows citizens’ arrests essentially. Those fake security people are actually allowed to arrest you and take you in to the police station.

So, I said, well, you’re not the police, right? So, I have the right to resist you “arresting” me.

Yeah, well, people have tried that and they use force or even pepper spray to detain people and bring them in for a variety of offenses – namely of the disorderly conduct, public intoxication variety.

I swear to god, you try to “arrest” me and I will resist my ass off, because who the fuck are you, in your creepy pseudo-cop uniform. No, I’m not going with you. How do I know you’re not just trying to kidnap me or something worse? And if you pepper spray me, I will 1. probably kick you in the groin and 2. sue your ass.

6 thoughts on “What Kind of Police Are You?

  1. So, essentially, I can use that citizen’s arrest idea to pepper spray and take in to the police station a person that I think needs to be arrested. I can see that going over well with the “real” Chicago Police.

  2. Nothing against your comments other Steve, but I’ve now gotten enough questions that I felt it was time to clarify publicly that you are not me.
    Respectfully,
    Kelly’s Steve

  3. Ok, having now been told to actually read your comments other Steve, I’m now revising my previous statement from “Nothing against your comments” to “nothing against your interest in Kelly’s website.”
    Again respectfully,
    Kelly’s Steve

  4. Oh hey, I am not a trouble maker. You give me the word I will not read and ever comment again. Ask Maija. I don’t want to make waves. My intention is for supporting people who throw their shit out for all to see.

    You want me to leave I will. I have left people often, and will anytime. If that is your wish let me know.

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